When Should The Bank Of Mum and Dad Close?

We all sign up to support our children when they are young.  Once they become adults we are keen to help them become independent.  There may be help getting a first house, first car, getting through education and so on, but then I guess we expect the financial commitment to stop.  These days it isn’t always so easy though as buying a first house gets put back ever further as you have to save a bigger deposit.  Also, what if parents have available money later in life, surely it would be better to pass it on earlier rather than later? There’s no point holding on to money that could end up being eaten up by care home fees.

Two thirds (64 percent) of wishful parents dream of the day when the financial tide turns and they no longer have to support their grown children, instead getting to enjoy being on the receiving end of their generosity.

In fact, mums and dads hope the financial scales will tip in their favour by the time their child turns 30, according to a new study, by digital wealth manager, Moneyfarm.And the survey revealed a host of things we would love our children to start treating us to, and the ages at which we feel that should become a reality. For example, parents HOPE to be taken out for a drink at the pub by their child by the time they reach 25, for a meal by 27 and for their children to take them on a day out by the time they reach 28. And when their child reaches 33, parents would love for their offspring to take THEM on a staycation or minibreak, while they aspire to be taken on a foreign holiday by the time their child reaches 36 years old. One in four (23 percent) would simply love to be taken for a glass of wine or cocktail by their adult child, while 44 percent would see it as a huge success for their child to even purchase them a coffee.

A day out (43 percent), a trip to the theatre (21 percent), a holiday either at home or abroad (20 percent) and a spa day (16 percent) are other things that mums and dads would love to be treated to from time to time.However, until this moment is reached, seven in ten (69 percent) say still they regularly buy and pay for things like clothes, holidays and even bills for their adult children, doling out an average of £324 a month.

And while 79 percent say they always buy their children a birthday and Christmas present, 17 percent only receive gifts back occasionally, while one in ten (13 percent) never get one in return.

As a result, four in ten (41 percent) admit that they get annoyed about having to pay out so much for their adult kids.

Going a step further, some parents say they would gladly welcome more substantial financial support from their children, provided they were in a strong enough position to offer it.

Thirteen percent admit they would accept help covering everyday expenses, while 11 percent would be open to assistance with home renovations tailored to getting older.

Meanwhile, nine percent would allow contributions toward rent or mortgage payments, and eight percent would even permit their children to pay off the remainder of their mortgage.

But it’s not always the big things that make the most impact. More than half (55 percent) of parents would love their grown child to cook them a full roast with all the trimmings, even though 38 percent admit they have NEVER been invited to their son or daughters for a meal that they have cooked or bought themselves.

Chris Rudden, Head of Investment Consultants at digital wealth manager, Moneyfarm, comments, “It is evident that many parents are quietly hoping for a financial tipping point, where the years of giving gradually give way, from the age of 30, to moments of receiving.

“While it is clear that most parents are happy to continue financially helping their children well into adulthood, there is clearly a growing desire to see that support reciprocated in meaningful ways. From small acts like an invite to dinner or a home-cooked meal to bigger gestures, if they can be afforded, these milestones reflect a shift in how families view financial inter-dependence.

“These financial milestones represent more than transactions, they are about finding joy and satisfaction in your children thriving enough to be able to give back.”

Eighty-eight percent believe that no matter what age your children are, parents should help them out financially, with 37 percent agreeing that today’s young people will never truly be able to afford the things they could, such as cars, houses and expensive holidays.

THE AGES, BY WHICH PARENTS HOPE THEIR ADULT CHILDREN WILL BE TREATING THEM:

 

• A cup of coffee – 24 years old
• A drink at a pub or bar – 25 years old
• A meal out – 27 years old
• A day out – 28 years old
• A night out at the theatre – 30 years old
• A spa/wellness day – 31 years old
• A UK staycation – 33 years old
• A holiday aboard – 36 years old